Top 10 Elder Financial Abuse Resources April 2012

Top 10 Elder Financial Abuse Resources April 2012

1. Protecting Your Parents’ Money 6. Fleecing Grandma and Grandpa
2. New Times, New Challenges: Law and Advice 7. How to Survive Identity Theft (Step By Step Guide)
3. Outsmarting the Scam Artists 8. Alive and Kicking: Legal Advice for Boomers
4. FINANCIAL ABUSE OF THE ELDERLY 9. The Sociopath Next Door
5. Crimes of Persuasion: Schemes, scams, frauds 10. In Sheep’s Clothing: Manipulative People

1. Protecting Your Parents’ Money: The Essential Guide to Helping Mom and Dad Navigate the Finances of Retirement

List Price: $15.99
Price: $10.87
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Are you ready for the inevitable day when you will have to act as parent to your parents?

Protecting Your Parents’ Money is the essential financial handbook that will help you navigate this confusing and difficult transition, providing a game plan for tackling complex issues like estate planning, retirement income and savings, and long-term health care. Most important, it will help bridge the communication barrier between parents and adult children, which often makes the process much more difficult than it needs to be. Important topics include:

  • Personal Finance 101, the Senior Years: The essential definitions and workings of the myriad investment options and financial requirements your parents will deal with in retirement.
  • The Move: How to find the right nursing homes or retirement communities, comparing costs and factoring your parents’ assets into the mix.
  • Understanding Medicare: What it is, how to qualify for coverage, and what it means for your parents’ finances.
  • Elder Fraud: How to look for telltale signs that your parents have been victimized.

Protecting Your Parents’ Money provides the comprehensive guide every loving son and daughter will need to understand and help manage Mom and Dad’s financial concerns.

2. New Times, New Challenges: Law and Advice for Savvy Seniors and Their Families

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Price: $23.94
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If your parents are growing older, if you are growing older (or at least you hope to), you will face new times and new challenges. This book will help. A law professor and a leading elder law lawyer team up to offer legal and practical advice on retirement issues (finances, housing, health care), walk you through various estate planning options (living trusts, wills, advance directives), and help your family in truly sad times, disability and death in the family. They also help you avoid, and, if that’s too late, deal with bad folks: caretakers who abuse elders, obnoxious bill collectors, scam artists, identity thieves, and those discriminate on the basis of age or disability. Alas, there are even legal problems associated with grandparenting and remarriage (the triumph of hope over experience).
As to driving and sex, while there is both good and bad news, one message stands out: never at the same time.
The topics may be sobering, but the style is not. It’s a good read, often funny and even, on occasion, profound. Charles Sabatino, the director of the American Bar Association’s Commission on Law and Aging, writes that the book is ”an encyclopedic legal reference with the down-home philosophy and wit of Will Rogers, wryly enriched by poetry, humor, and existential musings.” Doctor Andrew Weil finds the book ”entertaining and uplifting with very practical and sensible suggestions.” He will use it himself and will recommend it to patients, friends, and loved ones.
Whether you buy this book or not, the time is now to face the new challenges that are hurrying near. How? Sit down for an hour and write a letter to your family, covering such things as end-of-life care, living arrangements in the case of disability, and who gets the grandfather clock. (There is a suggested model in the book.) Discuss your letter with loved ones. You will save you and your family, money, confusion, and heartbreak. Challenges, unaddressed, fester.
Professor Hegland has spent his career teaching law, mostly at Arizona but also UCLA and Harvard. He has degrees from Stanford, UC Berkeley, and Harvard. Author of several legal books, he is known for his wit and clarity. Robert Fleming has spent his career practicing elder law. He lectures nationally and authors a legal treatise used by many of the nation’s elder law lawyers.
They know their stuff. And now you can too.

3. Outsmarting the Scam Artists: How to Protect Yourself From the Most Clever Cons

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Price: $12.82
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A practical guide to avoiding the most common scams, from a fraud-fighting expertU.S. consumers lose billions of dollars each year to scam artists—and the next victim could be you. While anyone can be targeted, many victims are older. In AARP’s Outsmarting the Scam Artists, renowned fraud-fighter Doug Shadel offers practical advice for consumers who want to protect their money as well as the financial assets of their parents and families.

Despite the rise of scams, many people are embarrassed to admit they’ve been victimized. The author helps break the cycle of shame by including accounts from the people who’ve been scammed as well as tips from a surprising source: convicted con artists who reveal how they’ve defrauded people like you.

  • Get practical tips to combat all kinds of scams, from simple lottery tickets to non-existent oil and gas deals and religious ponzi schemes
  • Learn how to protect yourself by securing your mailbox and fraud-proofing your trash
  • Get inside the head of sophisticated scam artists to discover how you can become the type of individual they avoid

Scammers are everywhere. But with Outsmarting the Scam Artists in hand, you can protect yourself and your money.

4. FINANCIAL ABUSE OF THE ELDERLY; A Detective’s Case Files Of Exploitation Crimes

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The author is a Florida detective recognized as an expert investigator of exploitation crimes who presents 11 shocking and factual investigations. He dispels the myths of this misunderstood crime while providing specific and practical prevention advice. . .


Statistically, senior citizens account for a third of all fraud victims in the nation. Fraud is in essence deception. But there is another type of financial abuse called “exploitation of the elderly” and it differs from fraud because by definition, it is the using of someone, the selfish or unfair taking advantage of an elderly person who suffers some type of physical or mental infirmity.

Definitions of fraud found in dictionaries, or state and federal laws, are essentially based on deception. When referring too the theft of physical property, fraud is basically defined as the false and deceptive statement of fact intended to induce another person to give up a valuable item he or she owns. Scams, confidence games, rackets, hoaxes and shakedowns are common terms used to describe misrepresentations and trickery used by con men or women to entice their target into making bad decisions.

This book contains a select group of historical cases that illustrate the true nature of these vicious exploitation crimes.

5. Crimes of Persuasion: Schemes, scams, frauds.

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In-depth fraud coverage of computer crimes such as pyramid schemes make this crime library of internet crimes the cyber crime location for the schemes and scams that con artists perpetrate.

White collar crimes such as prime bank fraud, pyramid scams, internet fraud, phone scams, chain letters, modeling agency and Nigerian scams, computer fraud as well as telemarketing fraud are fully explained.

This crime report on organized crime topics include credit card fraud, check kiting, tax fraud, money laundering, mail fraud, counterfeit money orders, check fraud and other who’s who true crimes of persuasion.

6. Fleecing Grandma and Grandpa: Protecting against Scams, Cons, and Frauds

Price: $38.95

Falling for a scam or con is humiliating for anyone, and can have terrible consequences. But for the elderly, being the victim of fraud can be disastrous, and they are the most common and vulnerable targets of everyday scams, cons, and frauds. From identity theft to gambling scams, from power of attorney issues to pyramid schemes, there is no dearth of creativity in the ways some criminals will relieve the elderly from their money and their homes. Here, Alt and Wells describe the most common scams, offer the stories of actual victims, and detail ways to protect yourself and your family from becoming easy targets.

What makes the elderly such easy marks for con artists? How can they avoid the common traps? Knowing about them is one place to start, and this book helps readers to understand and identify the most common scams perpetrated against the elderly. Because such cons are so hard to prosecute, it is important to know the methods criminals employ to separate innocents from their hard-earned money. This lively, vivid account of one of the most insidious forms of crime will help families and individuals protect themselves and their loved ones from the machinations of those who view them as easy marks.

7. How to Survive Identity Theft: Regain Your Money, Credit, and Reputation (Step By Step Guide)

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Price: $9.31
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Identity theft is at an all-time high. In one notorious case, a criminal racked up more than $100,000 of debt in the name of his victim. The thief bought homes, motorcycles, and handguns in the victim?s name. The victim and his wife spent more than four years and $15,000 to clear his name.

Money, credit, and even lives are at stake when an identity is stolen. Yet many people don?t know what legal protections exist. You need to learn what to do when your name, credit card number, or other information gets into the wrong hands. Security expert David Holtzman offers you clear, concise advice on how to reduce the chances of fraud and what steps victims need to take to reclaim their lives. An extensive resource list offers tools to draw up a plan to rebuild credit and reputation.

Thieves are roaming the Internet. But with this essential guide, their victims can even the score!

8. Alive and Kicking: Legal Advice for Boomers

Price: $24.95

If you are getting older (or hope to), this book is for you. It will save you and your family money, restless nights, and heartbreak. Do I really need a living will? What are living trusts and should I attend a free seminar? How can I protect myself from scams and identity theft? How can I care for my aged parents? What are assisted living facilities and what about nursing homes? How can I recognize elder abuse and what about guns in the home? How can I fight age discrimination? What will be my insurance needs? What are reverse mortgages, Roth IRAs, durable powers of attorney, and disgruntled heirs? Will I have to give up both driving and sex? Need I worry about estate taxes? Should I avoid Probate? Most important, how can I get my family (and myself) to discuss the real problems that will face us? Here they come, ready or not. Not to worry. You don’t have to read the entire book. What you need to know right now is in the first four chapters. The rest can wait. This is a serious book about serious times, but, if you re not up for an occasional joke, or poem, just put it back.

9. The Sociopath Next Door

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Price: $10.17
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Who is the devil you know?
Is it your lying, cheating ex-husband? Your sadistic high school gym teacher? Your boss who loves to humiliate people in meetings? The colleague who stole your idea and passed it off as her own?
In the pages of The Sociopath Next Door, you will realize that your ex was not just misunderstood. He’s a sociopath. And your boss, teacher, and colleague? They may be sociopaths too.
We are accustomed to think of sociopaths as violent criminals, but in The Sociopath Next Door, Harvard psychologist Martha Stout reveals that a shocking 4 percent of ordinary people—one in twenty-five—has an often undetected mental disorder, the chief symptom of which is that that person possesses no conscience. He or she has no ability whatsoever to feel shame, guilt, or remorse. One in twenty-five everyday Americans, therefore, is secretly a sociopath. They could be your colleague, your neighbor, even family. And they can do literally anything at all and feel absolutely no guilt. How do we recognize the remorseless? One of their chief characteristics is a kind of glow or charisma that makes sociopaths more charming or interesting than the other people around them. They’re more spontaneous, more intense, more complex, or even sexier than everyone else, making them tricky to identify and leaving us easily seduced. Fundamentally, sociopaths are different because they cannot love. Sociopaths learn early on to show sham emotion, but underneath they are indifferent to others’ suffering. They live to dominate and thrill to win.
The fact is, we all almost certainly know at least one or more sociopaths already. Part of the urgency in reading The Sociopath Next Door is the moment when we suddenly recognize that someone we know—someone we worked for, or were involved with, or voted for—is a sociopath. But what do we do with that knowledge? To arm us against the sociopath, Dr. Stout teaches us to question authority, suspect flattery, and beware the pity play. Above all, she writes, when a sociopath is beckoning, do not join the game.
It is the ruthless versus the rest of us, and The Sociopath Next Door will show you how to recognize and defeat the devil you know.

10. In Sheep’s Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People

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Subtitled Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People, this is the international bestseller from Dr.In Sheep’s Clothing is used in thousands of psychiatric clinics worldwide.

Dr. George Simon knows how people push your buttons: your children–especially teens–are expert at it, as is your mate. A co-worker may quietly undermine your efforts while professing to be helpful, or your boss may prey on your weaknesses. Manipulative people have two goals: to win and to loog good doing it. Often those they abuse are only vaguely aware of what is happening to them. In this eye-opening book, you’ll also discover * four reasons why victims have a hard time leaving abusie relationships, * power tactics manipulative people use to push their own agendas and justify their behavior, * ways to redefine the rules of engagement between you and the abuser, * how to spot potential weaknesses in your character that can set you up for manipulation, * 2 tools for personal empowerment to help you maintain greater strength in all relationships, and much more.

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Copyright 2012 David Masters


Top 10 Learning to Trust Again Resources March 2012

Top 10 Learning to Trust Again Resources March 2012

If you’ve suffered betrayal in your relationship – there is hope. These books can help you heal and learn how to trust again.

1. After the Affair: Healing the Pain 6. Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves
2. Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust 7. The Courage to Trust: A Guide
3. Trusting Life: Overcoming the Fear 8. Trust Betrayal: Dealing with breach of trust
4. Who’s Got Your Back: Breakthrough Program 9. Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken
5. Beyond Boundaries: Learning to Trust Again 10. When Your Lover Is a Liar

1. After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful

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For the 70 percent of couples who have been affected by extramarital affairs, this is the only book to offer proven strategies for surviving the crisis and rebuilding the relationship –– written by a nationally known therapist considered an expert on infidelity.

When I was 15, I was raped. That was nothing compared to your affair. The rapist was a stranger; you, I thought, were my best friend.

There is nothing quite like the pain and shock caused when a partner has been unfaithful. The hurt partner often experiences a profound loss of self–respect and falls into a depression that can last for years. For the relationship, infidelity is often a death blow.

After the Affair is the first book to help readers survive this crisis. Written by a clinical psychologist who has been treating distressed couples for 22 years, it guides both hurt and unfaithful partners through the three stages of healing: Normalizing feelings, deciding whether to recommit and revitalizing the relationship. It provides proven, practical advice to help the couple change their behavior toward each other, cultivate trust and forgiveness and build a healthier, more conscious intimate partnership.

2. Not “Just Friends”: Rebuilding Trust and Recovering Your Sanity After Infidelity

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Price: $10.85
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Refusing to pander to audiences expecting Dr. Phil-type quick fixes, Glass (who has appeared on Oprah herself) chooses “a new, fact-based, scientifically and therapeutically responsible approach” to a subject she contends is fraught with public and professional misconceptions. Drawing on research studies (her own and others’) and clinical cases from her 25 years as a psychotherapist, she explores “the new crisis of infidelity” resulting from platonic relationships that become progressively intense. Personal and professional friendships between men and women have become so prevalent and accepted that, according to Glass, even “good” people in “good” marriages can be swept away in a riptide of emotional intimacy more potent than sheer sexual attraction. Glass scrutinizes affairs and offers well-defined guidelines, including tips for determining how vulnerable individuals and relationships are to temptation, and prescriptions for keeping relationships “safe,” repairing betrayal-induced damages and recovering from the trauma. Glass’s credentials and commitment lend this book credence as a valuable resource; Staeheli’s easy, personable style and the well-organized format make it user-friendly, too.

3. Trusting Life: Overcoming the Fear and Beliefs That Block Peace and Happiness

Kindle Price: $2.99

Fear and distrust keep us from living the life we were meant to live, and they are the greatest hurdles to seeing the truth about life–that it is good, abundant, supportive, and potentially joyous. There’s nothing more important than seeing this truth, because the degree to which we trust life is the degree to which we can be happy and at peace.
Trusting Life is a deep exploration into the mystery of who we are, why we suffer, why we don’t trust life, and how to become more trusting. It offers evidence that life is trustworthy and tools for overcoming the fear and beliefs that keep us from falling in love with life.
From Trusting Life: “If we persist in being involved with our egoic mind, it will be difficult to discover the truth about reality-that living in reality, instead of the ego’s virtual reality, is a peaceful, safe, and joyous place and that within us is the wisdom and guidance we need to be happy and fulfilled. Being in the moment is where true happiness lies, but we won’t discover that if we’re wrapped up in the ego’s world and believing the ego’s perspective, which is one of fear and distrust.”

4. Who’s Got Your Back: The Breakthrough Program to Build Deep, Trusting Relationships That Create Success–and Won’t Let You Fail

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Price: $15.99
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Six years ago, author and management consultant Ferazzi wrote Never Eat Alone, about networking and developing empathy with clients; since then, he’s founded his own company (Ferazzi Greenlight), and the challenge has taught him the value of “a group that cared about and encouraged” him, “totally infused with excitement, optimism, energy, creativity and hope.” Trying to recreate the dynamic interactions that defined work at his former employer, Deloitte & Touche, Ferrazzi discovered that, in every sphere of life, fostering a “peer-to-peer collaborative process,” based in interlinked support groups, creates a safe space where criticism, accountability and self-correction flourish (think Weight Watchers or Alcoholics Anonymous). This bit of understanding, Ferrazzi concludes, is something “great leaders and peak performers throughout history have always known,” and his lively, anecdotal style welcomes average readers to the practice of building “lifeline relationships.” Though Ferrazzi’s upbeat spirit is encouraging and his lessons valuable, an over-emphasis on the ideal (“There’s nothing inherently nonsupportive about today’s corporate culture”) fails to address many hard realities facing today’s American worker.

5. Beyond Boundaries: Learning to Trust Again in Relationships

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How do you know you’re ready to trust again … and what does it take to be ready? Painful relationships violate our trust, causing us to close our hearts. But to experience the freedom and love God designed us for, we eventually have to take another risk. In this breakthrough book, bestselling author Dr. John Townsend takes you beyond the pain of the past to discover how to re-enter a life of intimate relationships. Whether you’re trying to restore a current relationship or begin a new one, Townsend gives practical tools for establishing trust and finding the intimacy you long for. Beyond Boundaries will help you reinstate closeness with someone who broke your trust; discern when true change has occurred; reestablish appropriate connections in strained relationships; create a safe environment that helps you trust; and restore former relationships to a healthy dynamic. You can move past relational pain to trust again. Beyond Boundaries will show you how.

6. Daring to Trust: Opening Ourselves to Real Love and Intimacy

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Most relationship problems are essentially trust issues, explains psychotherapist David Richo. Whether it’s fear of commitment, insecurity, jealousy, or a tendency to be controlling, the real obstacle is a fundamental lack of trust—both in ourselves and in our partner.
Daring to Trustoffers key insights and practical exercises for exploring and addressing our trust issues in relationships. Topics include:

  • How we learn early in life to trust others (or not to trust them)
  • Why we fear trusting
  • Developing greater trust in ourselves as the basis for trusting others
  • How to know if someone is trustworthy
  • Naïve trust vs. healthy, adult trust
  • What to do when trust is broken

Ultimately, Richo explains, we must develop trust in four directions: toward ourselves, toward others, toward life as it is, and toward a higher power or spiritual path. These four types of trust are not only the basis of healthy relationships, they are also the foundation of emotional well-being and freedom from fear.

7. The Courage to Trust: A Guide to Building Deep and Lasting Relationships

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You’re probably familiar with the old saying, once bitten, twice shy. It describes a painful uncertainty many of us feel every day as we try to engage with other people. Acts of betrayal from our pasts can lead us into long cycles of wariness and mistrust. An inability to trust wisely can lead us to loneliness and isolation, or worse—putting our trust in the wrong people too easily.

The good news is that the ability to trust is both a choice and a skill that you can develop. You do not have to be controlled by the past. To a child, trust is a feeling that comes and goes, always under the influence of other people. Only as an adult can you learn how and when to trust more wisely. This book is a warm and friendly guide to achieving greater self-confidence and deeper levels of intimacy and trust.

Helped along by the book’s exercises and ideas for self-reflection, you’ll begin to develop new patterns of trust. Start by getting comfortable trusting your own instincts. Then, experiment with developing relationships based on mutual trust and curiosity. Learn from and then let go of old betrayals that have impaired your trust-building skills, and approach the rest of your life with a renewed sense of purpose and belonging.

8. Trust Betrayal: Dealing with breach of trust, healing and learn to trust again

Kindle Price: $2.99

In Trust Betrayal, Dealing with breach of trust, healing and learning to trust again, the author explores the many types of betrayals that can take place in one’s life, how the pain from these experiences can block the suffering victims from untold peace, love and prosperity, how to promote healing and re-engage good fortune and how to live a happier, more productive and better life.
No stranger to the emotional pain of betrayal, he helps the reader discover how the relationship enabled the transgressor to conduct the breach of trust in the first place. Though thorough self-examination, documentation and analysis, helps the victim regain control of their life.
The emotional pain from failed relationships can cause the injured party’s life to implode, giving way to depression and stagnation. By using the techniques provided in Trust Betrayal, Dealing with breach of trust, healing and learning to trust again, the author coaches readers through effective visualization exercises and rituals that will assist victims of betrayal to not only get back on track, but to excel in a positive future with renewed spiritual energy and awakening.
Covering a wide-range of possible betrayal of trust, no stone is left unturned, and these strategies can be applied to any type of emotional assault that has resulted in broken trust; anything from broken contracts to failed marriages. Transgressions are turned into episodic growth spurts, leading to a general understanding of the human condition, while bolstering self-growth.
The catastrophic breach of trust, once thought of as a major negative experience, can be translated into an empowering time of spiritual growth that can catapult the afflicted into a new life of love, happiness, generosity, forgiveness and renewed faith in endless possibilities.
If you’ve suffered a betrayal at the hands of another, you can reclaim your life, and enjoy the best this life has to offer by following the guidelines set forth in Trust Betrayal, Dealing with breach of trust, healing and learning to trust again.

9. Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken: Finding Forgiveness and Restoration

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A few days after an ordinary Valentine’s Day, Cindy Beall’s life changed forever. She listened with disbelief to her husband, Chris, a respected pastor, confess to pornography addiction, numerous affairs, and the startling news that a woman was pregnant with his child.

With raw honesty and intimate knowledge of pain and of God’s power to resurrect something new out of the debris of betrayal, Cindy reveals how to:

  • seek guidance, counseling, and prayer support when deceptions surface
  • help the family heal from the grief and humiliation
  • rebuild trust after porn, sex, and other addictions undermine a relationship
  • protect a marriage from lies and unfaithfulness
  • rely on God to pursue forgiveness and move forward in new promises

Cindy’s compassion, grasp of God’s Word, and the Bealls’ remarkable story will help wives and husbands trust God with their broken hearts and follow His leading, hope, and redemption.

10. When Your Lover Is a Liar: Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal

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Price: $11.07
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Have you ever been lied to by a lover? In this straightforward and supportive book, therapist Susan Forward profiles the wide variety of liars, shows you how to deal with the lies — from the benign to the lethal — that these men spin, and gives practical strategies to stop them before they ruin your relationship and, ultimately, your life.

Once you find out the truth about your lover and his lies, what do you do? Forward offers practical, proven, step-by-step methods for healing the wounds caused by his deception and betrayal. She provides all the communication and behavioral techniques you need to deal with a lover’s lies, telling you exactly what to say, when and how to respond to his reactions, and how to present your requirements for staying in the relationship. With understanding and compassion, she helps you decide whether your relationship can be saved and shows you how to move beyond doubt and regret if you feel that it can’t. But whether you stay or go, you can learn to love and trust again.

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